CampusIntel

“When you are in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.”
-Dr. Seuss

I know…again with the quotes. But this one, ever since we were all kids, has played a great part in our lives. I’ll try to explain this one for you guys.

Throughout our lives, we will meet hundreds of people, date a few of them, and hopefully end up with one of them. The main question is: How do you know who that one is?
As you’ve seen in my first blog, the first part of BoBH, I’m trying to help those confused, broken or lost hearts as best as I can with what knowledge and experience I have.

Let’s continue on:

2. To be or not to be? Why not both…

You’ll learn something over the years. Either now, later, or when it is too late. Hopefully this will allow you to realize it before it is too late.

Allow me to explain this in simple terms:

You have oranges. Each orange is a different part of you. A personality trait, a look, a fashion, a quality, everything that makes you up.

Your partner has bananas. Same situation, each one a different part of them.

You can live for the majority of your life off these oranges. Of course, oranges are great! But after awhile you realize you’re going to OD on these oranges if you don’t get a change of pace. This is where your partner comes into play

But wait, she wants you to stop eating oranges, and just eat bananas. At the start you’re like, Yum! I love bananas! But give it a little bit and you’ll start looking like one. You leave banana-freak, and return to your oranges, again getting tired of them over time. Now imagine someone who is willing to share half and half, you have an orange for every banana. Never getting tired of the same thing and getting the benefit of bananas and oranges.

Now bring it back to real life. This whole metaphor circled around the perfect combination. Partners can be “all bananas, all the time” or maybe “THEY’RE MY BANANAS! BACK OFF”, which still does not work. No one wants to change, and frankly, I don’t blame them. But people need to realize, no one is perfect. You have to learn from your partner and be open to be taught by them too. Allow feedback to become that better person, not only as an individual, but as a partner.

Returning to the title, why not both? Be who you want to be, stay the same person, and be the one that everyone loves, especially your special someone. But as well, what you never thought of being. Take feedback; learn to be a better person and a better partner. Perfection comes over time, but be open to becoming a better person all around.

3. Don’t fake a smile.

Love will make and break hearts. Love will find you that special someone, after it’s found you a few others. Love may put you in scenarios that you never imagined yourself in, and put you with people you never wished you would’ve met.

Love can only do so much. The rest is yours to deal with. Here are two quick rules to follow:

i)                    Don’t give up or lose love when the going gets tough. The best relationships are those where the couples fight (within normal bounds) and resolve their problems. You can’t give up.

ii)                   Don’t fake a smile. If you’re brain and you’re heart agree, if she’s not the one for you, then don’t drag the strain any longer than necessary.

Plenty of times I’ve been in relationships where you debate the feelings you are having and the decisions you’ve made. The only thing I’ve taken out of this is that you need to be sincere with yourself and be honest with your partner at the time. If you realize that he/she is not the one, and you don’t see a future, it is best to end the strain on the heart that will last until you are honest with the both of you guys.

I apologize it took me over a week for my second part; this week has been hell with midterms and papers. If anyone has any questions, comments, or suggestions for future topics, please feel free to reply to this and let me know.

Thank you for reading and hopefully this helps you out, whoever you are.

Stay good,
Stay strong,
And stay out of trouble.

-Andrew