Don’t play innocent, we’ve all been there.  You met up with that cute guy or gal who you’ve been eyeing in class for a quick bite and everything’s going great.  The conversation is flowing and there’s smiles all around until that awkward lull when he or she pulls out their cellphone to read or answer a text message.  At this point you’re red in the face, fumbling to finish your sentence hoping that they’re still listening to you. Then you ask yourself things like, “Who are they texting?”, “Am I boring him/her?” and of course “Is he/she into me?”

Text messaging is a huge cultural phenomenon among teenagers and young adults, in which peers can keep in constant communication, anywhere at any time with the touch of a few buttons. It’s cheap. It’s convenient. It’s perfect.

With these points in mind, texting seems to be a great and inexpensive way to keep in touch with your pals. What you might not have considered though is the strain it can put on your personal relationships with others.

Texting allows couples and dates to keep in touch by connecting, flirting and of course “sexting”, many young adults seeing it as a necessary form of additional communcation aside from e-mails and phone calls.  It also provides singles the opportunity to feel out a potential match and can provide a quick getaway during a bad or awkward date (“My sister’s car broke down/is in the hospital/is in prison/etc.” Anything to get you out of there!).

As amazing as text messaging is, there are potential issues when texting and dating are combined. In an era where electronic forms of communication like e-mail, text and instant messaging are considered the norm, everyone is expected to be in constant contact with one another. It is because of this, a person’s texting habits can be translated into their persona and feelings, whether they’re glued to their QWERTY board or whether T9 is uncharted territory to them.

On the negative side of things, texting can be toxic for relationships and when pursuing potential romantic partners. Many second dates have been ruled out with the constant use of text messaging with friends or ex-partners during dates. For many, texting on a date is annoying and unnattractive. If you’re texting at a restaurant, your date will get the vibe you’re not interested in them and would rather communicate electronically with someone else than talking to you. A problem I have often encounted is the ambiguity of messages. What one perceives as sarcasm, another might take literally.

Now, you don’t have to chuck your cellphone into the garbage to assure a healthy romantic relationship. Simple little things can help, like, I don’t know, dialing their phone number? Just because texting is a norm doesn’t mean that you have to absolve all other more personal forms of communication. And besides, it makes people feel special, and you want to feel special, don’t you?