So an army guy walks into a bar – wait, I know what you’re thinking! This is not a joke; it’s the story of my life. If there was only one military man in the crowd, we would find each other, I kid you not. It’s like an invisible magnetic force I cannot stop, no matter how often I’ve tried.

Despite the fact that both of my parents are civilians, I grew up in a very large military community. As a result, I’ve dated and been friends with my fair share (or more) of men in the military. These experiences have left me with a predominantly negative opinion of those who put on combats every day before they head out the door.

I need to start off by saying not all military/service men are bad romantic partners. Some of my friends are married to perfect, awesome, handsome, NICE military men. Not many, but a few. And this blog does not discuss their capabilities as associated with their jobs, simply their dating habits as I’ve experienced them.

What is it that makes the military man (or firefighter or police officer or sports player) so desirable? I blame the media. With movies like “Dear John” portraying young hotties as romantic heroes, it is no wonder that we come to expect the same of their real life counter-parts. Men in uniform are the grown up girl’s version of Prince Charming.

But ladies, I am here to tell you that he will not ride in on a white horse and save the day. If anything, he will be the reason your day sucked so bad. Although the notion of dating a soldier is a romantic one, my experience has been filled with cheating, lying, not keeping promises, rude/hurtful comments, etc. etc. etc. I could write a thesis based on my own experiences in this field.

I believe that because the military is such a male dominated profession, the men develop a mob mentality/life style as they go through courses and day to day living together. With that much testosterone in one place, it is no wonder that competition arises and they try to one-up each other on the dating scene. Their egos become inflated because many girls swoon at the notion of a soldier, and as a result, they have all the power in the relationship.

Now, I know I sound like a bitter and scorned woman, and maybe I am a little bit. But after sitting down and thinking about all the relationships I’ve had since high school, I realized the common denominator in the bad ones was that they were all men who wear uniforms. Either I am a really terrible judge of character, or I am onto something here. Men in uniform know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, etc. to make you believe whatever they are saying to you.

Despite having been “screwed over” numerous times, I seem to fall for it again and again. No amount of lecturing or begging from friends and family can convince me that this guy is no different than the rest. Even after swearing off military men, I still seem to find myself thinking I’ve found one who “isn’t like the others”.

But this time, I am swearing them off for good…I think?

Men in uniform are good for a party, good for a fling, good to look at, but I would slap the majority of them with an “unsuitable for dating” sticker. At the very least, they should be forced to wear a “Proceed with Caution” sign around their neck.