CampusIntel

“When you are in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.”
-Dr. Seuss

I know…again with the quotes. But this one, ever since we were all kids, has played a great part in our lives. I’ll try to explain this one for you guys.

Throughout our lives, we will meet hundreds of people, date a few of them, and hopefully end up with one of them. The main question is: How do you know who that one is?
As you’ve seen in my first blog, the first part of BoBH, I’m trying to help those confused, broken or lost hearts as best as I can with what knowledge and experience I have.

Let’s continue on:

2. To be or not to be? Why not both…

You’ll learn something over the years. Either now, later, or when it is too late. Hopefully this will allow you to realize it before it is too late.

Allow me to explain this in simple terms:

You have oranges. Each orange is a different part of you. A personality trait, a look, a fashion, a quality, everything that makes you up.

Your partner has bananas. Same situation, each one a different part of them.

You can live for the majority of your life off these oranges. Of course, oranges are great! But after awhile you realize you’re going to OD on these oranges if you don’t get a change of pace. This is where your partner comes into play

But wait, she wants you to stop eating oranges, and just eat bananas. At the start you’re like, Yum! I love bananas! But give it a little bit and you’ll start looking like one. You leave banana-freak, and return to your oranges, again getting tired of them over time. Now imagine someone who is willing to share half and half, you have an orange for every banana. Never getting tired of the same thing and getting the benefit of bananas and oranges.

Now bring it back to real life. This whole metaphor circled around the perfect combination. Partners can be “all bananas, all the time” or maybe “THEY’RE MY BANANAS! BACK OFF”, which still does not work. No one wants to change, and frankly, I don’t blame them. But people need to realize, no one is perfect. You have to learn from your partner and be open to be taught by them too. Allow feedback to become that better person, not only as an individual, but as a partner.

Returning to the title, why not both? Be who you want to be, stay the same person, and be the one that everyone loves, especially your special someone. But as well, what you never thought of being. Take feedback; learn to be a better person and a better partner. Perfection comes over time, but be open to becoming a better person all around.

3. Don’t fake a smile.

Love will make and break hearts. Love will find you that special someone, after it’s found you a few others. Love may put you in scenarios that you never imagined yourself in, and put you with people you never wished you would’ve met.

Love can only do so much. The rest is yours to deal with. Here are two quick rules to follow:

i)                    Don’t give up or lose love when the going gets tough. The best relationships are those where the couples fight (within normal bounds) and resolve their problems. You can’t give up.

ii)                   Don’t fake a smile. If you’re brain and you’re heart agree, if she’s not the one for you, then don’t drag the strain any longer than necessary.

Plenty of times I’ve been in relationships where you debate the feelings you are having and the decisions you’ve made. The only thing I’ve taken out of this is that you need to be sincere with yourself and be honest with your partner at the time. If you realize that he/she is not the one, and you don’t see a future, it is best to end the strain on the heart that will last until you are honest with the both of you guys.

I apologize it took me over a week for my second part; this week has been hell with midterms and papers. If anyone has any questions, comments, or suggestions for future topics, please feel free to reply to this and let me know.

Thank you for reading and hopefully this helps you out, whoever you are.

Stay good,
Stay strong,
And stay out of trouble.

-Andrew

In a William Wallace (Braveheart) voice: “They can take our lives, but they can never take our FREEDOM!!”

Many have seen that movie, many have heard these words (probably even recited improperly), but no one realizes that these words are something to live by on a day–to-day basis. These words, along with other famous quotes, become the foundation to a good inner-strength. I will, throughout my BoBH (pronounced Bob) blogs, explain the importance of this quote and of the others, but for now, let’s start at the start. Start off on a good foot, with some rainbows, pixie dust and a bucket of sunshine.

Now that you’ve realized the point of these blogs, I want you to realize why I’m here. I, myself, have been through my fair share of relationships. From the best, long-term relationships, to the utterly terrible, short-term disasters, I’ve dealt with many situations. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m no guru; I’m no man whore or some “know-it-all”. Recently, I’ve come to notice that many boys, like me, go into relationships without realizing what they are doing, what they want and the changes that may need to be made.

That’s why I’m here. I’m that little voice inside your head, hopefully leading you to happiness with whoever that person may be.

Just like sports, video production, cooking, you need to have a pre-“game” plan:

Step 1:
Foundation for the Future.

The main thing is that both parties involved know what each other want and agree on it. Hell, sign a contract if you want (we all know how some women can alter the “understanding”). Choose your destiny is pretty appropriate to this topic. First off, figure out what you guys “are”. Is this relationship a serious one (long-term or just a short-term one)? The famous “friends with benefits”? The “no-friends, just benefits” combo? Feel free to create your own, individually or as a couple.

But wait! Don’t just think present, maybe even look into the future. Obviously no one is asking you to be like Nostradamus, but talk about the future with you guys. Do you see this “friend with benefits” deal become a serious relationship? How fast do you want to move in a relationship? Basic understanding is the foundation of this relationship.

Step 1.1:
1+1=1?

I only created this step recently; I’ve come to realize its key importance in a successful relationship. I’ve called it 1.1 because it belongs fundamentally with the foundation, yet is not necessary and can be watered-down if preferred.

This step, I believe, can be mainly used for the serious relationships, but can be changed for whatever plan you have created for the both of you. Now remember, this step doesn’t have to be a cannonball attack (all at once), it can be more like a grenade explosion, with several pieces hitting you at different times, and slowly letting the pieces sink in.

What I’m trying to get at is that you need to understand the other person’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, preferences, turn-ons, turn-offs, etc… Like mentioned before, feel free to sit down with each other and just let loose, telling everything, starting with a clean and open slate. Or just over time, mention something that you like or dislike. But for the love of all that is right…do not get mad at the other person if they did not know. They don’t read minds! Explain to the person why you like or hate that thing…make it clear and understandable.

This is why it’s 1+1=1. If you want to understand the other person, and for them to understand you, you will need to become “one” and share what is necessary to make the relationship fun, exciting and enjoyable.

This will be it for this blog. Those are just a few quick tips to start off. If there is anything you guys want me to talk about or discuss more in depth, feel free to ask/recommend. I’m open to all.

And remember: Stay good, stay strong, and stay out of trouble!

Peace.

Andrew