CampusIntel

So an army guy walks into a bar – wait, I know what you’re thinking! This is not a joke; it’s the story of my life. If there was only one military man in the crowd, we would find each other, I kid you not. It’s like an invisible magnetic force I cannot stop, no matter how often I’ve tried.

Despite the fact that both of my parents are civilians, I grew up in a very large military community. As a result, I’ve dated and been friends with my fair share (or more) of men in the military. These experiences have left me with a predominantly negative opinion of those who put on combats every day before they head out the door.

I need to start off by saying not all military/service men are bad romantic partners. Some of my friends are married to perfect, awesome, handsome, NICE military men. Not many, but a few. And this blog does not discuss their capabilities as associated with their jobs, simply their dating habits as I’ve experienced them.

What is it that makes the military man (or firefighter or police officer or sports player) so desirable? I blame the media. With movies like “Dear John” portraying young hotties as romantic heroes, it is no wonder that we come to expect the same of their real life counter-parts. Men in uniform are the grown up girl’s version of Prince Charming.

But ladies, I am here to tell you that he will not ride in on a white horse and save the day. If anything, he will be the reason your day sucked so bad. Although the notion of dating a soldier is a romantic one, my experience has been filled with cheating, lying, not keeping promises, rude/hurtful comments, etc. etc. etc. I could write a thesis based on my own experiences in this field.

I believe that because the military is such a male dominated profession, the men develop a mob mentality/life style as they go through courses and day to day living together. With that much testosterone in one place, it is no wonder that competition arises and they try to one-up each other on the dating scene. Their egos become inflated because many girls swoon at the notion of a soldier, and as a result, they have all the power in the relationship.

Now, I know I sound like a bitter and scorned woman, and maybe I am a little bit. But after sitting down and thinking about all the relationships I’ve had since high school, I realized the common denominator in the bad ones was that they were all men who wear uniforms. Either I am a really terrible judge of character, or I am onto something here. Men in uniform know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, etc. to make you believe whatever they are saying to you.

Despite having been “screwed over” numerous times, I seem to fall for it again and again. No amount of lecturing or begging from friends and family can convince me that this guy is no different than the rest. Even after swearing off military men, I still seem to find myself thinking I’ve found one who “isn’t like the others”.

But this time, I am swearing them off for good…I think?

Men in uniform are good for a party, good for a fling, good to look at, but I would slap the majority of them with an “unsuitable for dating” sticker. At the very least, they should be forced to wear a “Proceed with Caution” sign around their neck.

You were planning your future with your prince charming, okay so he wasn’t a prince, and he was rarely charming, but he was yours…. until now.

You were thinking when he said he had something to tell you, that he was going to tell you how much he loved you… not how much he didn’t. Or maybe you broke it off, but either way… you’re here… without him.

Admit it; you never thought that your life would be this crappy. You thought you would gain more personal time as you wouldn’t have to spend pointless hours watching ‘guy movies,’ or copious nights taking care of him.

Sadly, you’ve woken up and faced reality, now understanding that all the time you thought you’d gain… you’ve lost…..and then some.

Now, instead of spending hours watching your favourite movies or nights taking care of yourself you spend countless seconds, minutes, hours, days and months, trying hard to forget about him.

And it`s even affecting your studies. You can’t go into your schoolbag to grab your assignment, because, sadly, he gave you the schoolbag and when you see it you start reminiscing about all of the moments you’ve shared.

Furthermore, you can’t study for your exams without thinking about him because that was something that you and him did together.

Evidently, this is all pointing to one thing: You need to forget about him.
So here are a few tricks to ensure that you do exactly that!

1. 1.      Realize it’s Over for a Reason

• I know the words, ‘it`s over,” play again and again in your head, but what you should know is that most of the time, when a break up happens, both parties are aware that their relationship is falling apart. Secondly, if you had any doubts (or if he has) then there is a basis for this. For this reason, take the break-up as a blessing – at least you’ve realized it now and not later. Because, truth be told, it would have only hurt more later on.

1. 2.      Get Rid of Reminders of Him

• Ever here the saying “Out of sight… Out of mind?” Well, it’s a darn good one when it comes to relationships. Get rid of anything that will remind you of him. That includes the beautiful necklace he bought you, the DVD you watched countless times together, and even his pen that he left at your place the day he broke up with you. That being said, if some items are valuable you do not have to toss them in the garbage, merely give them to someone else or store them away until you are 100% positive you are over him.

1. 3.      Block him from MSN, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

• Present technology has enabled us to keep our connections strong with our classmates from middle school, our friends from high school, and our party-going friends from university, but at the same time it has also given us the ability to contact the ex WAY too easily. It also gives us the ability to be able to stalk the ex way too easily. The truth is you may not be ready to hear the truth of what he is doing (or WHO he may be doing) so just end the possibility by blocking him.

1. 4.      Keep Your Distance

• This may be a harder task if you are living in the same neighbourhood, going to the same school, or sharing the same friends, but in all honesty, talking between you two needs to be kept to a minimum. Sure, he’s allowed to call to ask for his favourite hoodie back, and yes, you can text him to inform him that, that is not going to happen, (but if this occurs, please remember rule #2), however that’s about all the discussion that should transpire
• Please Note: This includes DRUNKEN messages, calls and texts. Drunken messages may seem like the right thing to do at the time, but realize that in the morning you’ll have more than just a bad headache to worry about.

1. 5.      Express Your Feelings

• It is extremely important to voice your feelings to anyone you can: your mom, your dog, your best friend, your imaginary friend, basically anyone! … except him. Almost everyone will be able to relate to how you are feeling and although neither their words nor the carton of ice cream they buy you will help, it will be great to be able to talk about it and get it off your chest.  If you are more of an independent person, don’t hesitate to write your feelings down. Some of the best writings were written with a broken heart, so who knows, it may just spark some creativity!

I know these steps will not be easy but if you can get through them, you will be finally able to forget about him. Oh, and trust me, before long you’ll be able to get that essay finished and watch that movie you’ve been dying to see forever!