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Initially going to wait until Friday to post this, but I realized that there are some university students who think the weekend begins on Wednesday (and lets face it, if you are a university student you can justify drinking any night of the week)! So here it is, ladies and gentlemen and avid drinkers alike! My hangover guide!!!!!

To begin with I need to explain the three different types of hangovers:

Level 1: throbbing headache either at the base of your skull or pounding just behind your eyes. Although this is really uncomfortable most people who have this hangover can function throughout the day (though it should be noted noises get louder and lights get brighter). I also like to call this the wine hangover (as this is how I get after drinking red wine).

Level 2: Nausea and intense head ache, vertigo, waves of selective amnesia about the previous night, inability to function at normal or half-par levels. This hangover results from drinking excessively only taking a couple of sips of water, NOT having carb laden foods and not taking anything like Tylonel or Advil before you hit the hay. **Note you will be exhausted because you have most likely passed out, this is NOT sleep and therefore you have a legitimate excuse to bitch, whine and complain all day about your poor, hung over body.

Level 3: Think migraine, your vision is blurred, your stomach is turning inside out, and the toilet seems to be your new best friend. Sadly when you are this hung over you are most likely going to realize that you do, in fact, really need to get onto cleaning your toilet and you can’t understand how you let it go so long…. STOP do not go there, that train of thought will guarantee to set you off up-chucking again. Your body will ache from head to toe (those muscles in your stomach get a really good work out though) and you will think you are dying… you are not, but it certainly feels close doesn’t it?

So now that you are all aware of the types of hangovers (and that they are no means set in stone) here are the top 9 ways to get rid of a hangover:

1. WATER! It’s not hard people, hangovers = your body dehydrated, so stop being stupid and drink some water BEFORE you go to bed. Not only can this minimize the morning effects but you just wont feel so gross.

2. Greasy foods: this is for the level two and three hangovers. If you get greasy foods into you it will help settle the nausea. But please, once again, do not be stupid! If you are having trouble sitting upright, splurge and get delivery on that pizza. Also take tiny little bites initially if you still are having trouble with your stomach.

3. Exercise!!!! My personal favourite. If your hangover is mild (level one or early stages level two) go for a jog, go for a bike (and if you are in Sackville take advantage of the WONDERFUL weather we appear to be having). Take a walk outside making sure to stay hydrated by drinking water, but at the same time getting your heart rate up. This will release endorphins making your headache go away and giving you a light fluffy feeling of satisfaction of working off all the booze from the night before.

4. Sex, yes sex. Sex does the same thing as exercise (plus the exercise part)! **NOTE** I am not endorsing going out and finding someone to sleep with you. I am just happening to say that if you are with somebody you are sleeping with or your one night stand stayed over, take advantage. Besides, trying something new sexually never hurt anybody… well depending on what exactly but moving on….

5. Indulge yourself, stay in bed with a good book or a movie… allow your body to rest and recover. As much as I dislike being told that time is the only way to make hangovers better, time will allow your body to recuperate even if your head is not feeling right.

6. DO NOT EAT CHOCOLATE. Hangovers are exactly like migraines, chocolate only makes head aches and migraines worse, your body doesn’t need that.

7. Now that your body is hydrated from all that water get your elctrolites back by drinking a sugary drink. My mum usually recommends Pepsi or something.

8. This is strictly for level 3 hangover; perscription migraine medication or “triptans”. (These can include zomig, imitrex, etc) although these drugs are used exclusively to treat migraines they do take hangovers away. **DISCLAIMER** this is obviously off-label use and I really do not endorse this particular method, but if you truly feel it is justified there is no way I can stop you.

9. The best thing known to university student-kind. GRAVOL. Takes away nausea and dizziness. You can sleep off your hangover.

I hope this helps even a little bit, stay tuned in for my next blog on the “Top Ten Ways to Please Your Man”… oh no… wait… that’s Cosmo…