CampusIntel

So an army guy walks into a bar – wait, I know what you’re thinking! This is not a joke; it’s the story of my life. If there was only one military man in the crowd, we would find each other, I kid you not. It’s like an invisible magnetic force I cannot stop, no matter how often I’ve tried.

Despite the fact that both of my parents are civilians, I grew up in a very large military community. As a result, I’ve dated and been friends with my fair share (or more) of men in the military. These experiences have left me with a predominantly negative opinion of those who put on combats every day before they head out the door.

I need to start off by saying not all military/service men are bad romantic partners. Some of my friends are married to perfect, awesome, handsome, NICE military men. Not many, but a few. And this blog does not discuss their capabilities as associated with their jobs, simply their dating habits as I’ve experienced them.

What is it that makes the military man (or firefighter or police officer or sports player) so desirable? I blame the media. With movies like “Dear John” portraying young hotties as romantic heroes, it is no wonder that we come to expect the same of their real life counter-parts. Men in uniform are the grown up girl’s version of Prince Charming.

But ladies, I am here to tell you that he will not ride in on a white horse and save the day. If anything, he will be the reason your day sucked so bad. Although the notion of dating a soldier is a romantic one, my experience has been filled with cheating, lying, not keeping promises, rude/hurtful comments, etc. etc. etc. I could write a thesis based on my own experiences in this field.

I believe that because the military is such a male dominated profession, the men develop a mob mentality/life style as they go through courses and day to day living together. With that much testosterone in one place, it is no wonder that competition arises and they try to one-up each other on the dating scene. Their egos become inflated because many girls swoon at the notion of a soldier, and as a result, they have all the power in the relationship.

Now, I know I sound like a bitter and scorned woman, and maybe I am a little bit. But after sitting down and thinking about all the relationships I’ve had since high school, I realized the common denominator in the bad ones was that they were all men who wear uniforms. Either I am a really terrible judge of character, or I am onto something here. Men in uniform know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, etc. to make you believe whatever they are saying to you.

Despite having been “screwed over” numerous times, I seem to fall for it again and again. No amount of lecturing or begging from friends and family can convince me that this guy is no different than the rest. Even after swearing off military men, I still seem to find myself thinking I’ve found one who “isn’t like the others”.

But this time, I am swearing them off for good…I think?

Men in uniform are good for a party, good for a fling, good to look at, but I would slap the majority of them with an “unsuitable for dating” sticker. At the very least, they should be forced to wear a “Proceed with Caution” sign around their neck.

A friend of mine just moved into a new apartment. She is a student who is near graduation and has a good bit of debt. Her apartment was pretty bare, and I love to decorate. So, the two of us got together to decorate her apartment!

So far we have finished the bathroom. I will update you on how the rest of the decorating goes. But we’ve tried to keep the costs low. It’s pretty easy to be cost effective, if you shop at stores like Wal-mart and the Dollarama! You can get a lot of nice things. Keep your eyes out for sales!

To the right is a photo of my friend’s shower curtain. This is a part of the before we re-decorated. She lives in an apartment and can’t really afford to buy pain, plus she would have to paint it back once she moves out. The counters are a tan colour and the sink/toilet are white. Therefore her bathroom really needed to get brighter!

Last winter she had gone on a trip to Cuba that I knew she loved. So I went through her photos and found six scenic pictures I thought she would like. The next time we hung out I showed her the pictures I had picked out. She picked the three she liked best, and those were the pictures we centered our decorating around.

We wanted to go with a beach theme to liven up the bathroom. She wanted it to be a place she liked, it is where she gets ready in the morning. It is important to have a positive image in the morning! So we thought in this small space a bright shower curtain would look great!

As you can see from the photos. Her bathroom was, well, it was blah! It definitely needed a pick-me-up. So my friend and I went on a shopping excursion where we purchased a few items and re-arranged some items that were already part of her apartment.

We first went to Wal-mart. There she purchased:

• One blue shower curtain
• One sandy-beige hand towel
• One blue facecloth
• One pack of wood-faced curtain hooks
• One blue hand towel
• One soap dish
• One toothbrush/paste holder

Everything at Wal-mart was affordable. We chose the prices she was able to pay. We found the perfect shower curtain. It looks exactly like the ocean. Once we brought it back to her apartment and hung it up we know it was perfect. The picture on the package did not do it justice. We chose the wood-faced curtain hooks because they reminded us of boardwalks on the beach. From choosing the wooden hooks that lead us to choose a soap dish that was on a white ceramic with a wooden base.

The towels were an easy choice. We found the most beautiful colour beige, it resembled the prettiest of all sand. As you can see in the photo to the left, we draped the blue facecloth over the beige towel.

The next store we visited was the Dollarama. Thank the Lord for this store! I tell you, this place is the best Here we purchased:

• 3 wooden frames
• 3 glass containers with metal lids
• One box of purple Q-tips
• 3 inspirational rocks

The items from the dollarstore were what pulled the bathroom together in the end. The three glass containers were put up against the far wall, and were filled with colourful items! Bath salts, bathbombs and pretty Q-tips. A cheap, easy way to add colour to a bathroom! The three photos were hung on the wall and this is where we placed the scenic photos of Cuba.

The inspirational rocks say: smile, laugh and love. These add “beachy-ness” to the room, but are also a reminded of some of the important things in life.

My friend and I loved the purple Q-tips! I have seen them in blue before as well, so check out your local Dollarama!

After putting everything into the bathroom and setting it up we both felt like there was something missing. She had a bamboo plant in her dinning room, so we borrowed that to put on the back of the toilet, a little inside from the outside!

Lastly we added a white candle, not only will this scented candle come in handy if someone makes a stinky, but it will also be great for a romantic or relaxing bath!

Overall, my friend did not go over her budget. She was able to change her blahh and boring bathroom into a Cuban getaway!After looking at the bathroom all put together my friend said:

I just want to spend all my time in the bathroom now!

We had a lot of fun going shopping and then back to her apartment to decorate. So if your bathroom is looking blah, head over to Wal-mart and do some re-decorating! It’s totally worth it.

Over all my friend and I had a lot of fun. Next week I’ll be back with Decorating 1001. Stay tuned to find out which room I’ll be transforming next!

For every Little League boy who is dreaming of making it to the major leagues, there are two Barbie-lovin’ girls who are hoping to date a boy who will make it to the major leagues. Of course, the odds of that happening are incredibly low… for either gender.

I find it completely understandable that these young lads envision a day when they will see their name in lights and hear their name being cheered by thousands of fans as they come up to the plate. However, I am still trying to figure out why so many women fall asleep each night, hoping that their prince charming… a man in cleats, carrying a baseball bat… will come rescue them.

However, many five-year-old girls fail to realize is the reality regarding baseball. The long season, the constant travel – one can only imagine how hard this would be on the princess waiting at home.

Let’s take the Toronto Blue Jays upcoming season, for example. If I can still add (it’s been a few years since high school math), the Blue Jays will spend approximately 88 days in Toronto during their 187 game season. Plus, that’s not everything…consider where they are right at this moment… in Florida – for six weeks!

That being the case, it doesn’t seem to leave much time for baseball players to actually be the prince charming their woman has longed for when they are younger.

And then there’s the aspect of relocation. Whether the baseball player is excitedly moving from farm team to the major leagues, or disappointedly being traded from his home team to another state, (or in the case of our Blue Jays – to another country), one can only imagine how heart-wrenching the experience is for the woman he is leaving at home. She is merely left behind to figure out their new living situation and forced to say goodbye to the house they made their own, to the friends they’ve grown attached to, and to the happy life they had

The reality of the artificial dream is acknowledged in a newspaper article from the Montreal Gazette. Although published over 25 years ago (1985). The reality still rings true today. Within the article, Bryn Smith, who had then been a pitcher for the Montreal Expos, stated: 

You can shag a fly as easily in Wrigley Field as the Big O. It’s the person at home cooking those meals whose world has really been turned around. While her husband is doing something he’s always dreamt of, she has been uprooted from friends and family to find herself in a position she probably never dreamed of being.

Evidently Smith realized the effects of falling in love with a baseball player.

For every game that has to be won, a birthday is missed.  For every RBI scored, an anniversary is missed.  For every loss that occurs, a player’s love says goodnight to an empty pillow. For every win that takes place, tears of happiness are shared by the male but tears of sadness are expressed knowing it won’t be long until her lover leaves again.

Kate Kilpatrick published an article highlighting the reality of it all in the Washington Post this past August. In the article, Rachel Dunn, wife of Adam Dunn, the first baseman for the Nationals, stated that a life of the significant other of a baseball player is “not even remotely as glamorous as people think – [as it] can be lonely, chaotic and uncertain.”

Abby Kearns, wife of Nationals right fielder Austin Kearns, reiterated Dunn’s statement claiming “I am lucky to be able to take a shower every day. I’m just so busy, honestly, trying to take care of the kids, without [Austin] here.”

Michael Schlact, who is presently playing for the Texas Rangers, discusses the hardship that arises from being in love with a woman and a sport with me through a direct message Twitter. Schlact indicated: “I’m blessed that my wife is able to travel with me [now]. [It] makes it much easier. We did long distance for 3 years. It was hard!”

Interestingly, when I asked Toronto Blue Jays, Dirk Hayhurst, (or otherwise known by his Twitter friends as “The Garfoose,” about the aspect of the dream women have of falling in love with a baseball player (and the affect that might have on him), Hayhurst merely indicated that “women that want to meet you because of what you do for a living are not the type worth meeting.”

Evidently, it seems the life that I dreamed of having at five-years-old now doesn’t seem to be as amazing as I had once thought. The dream house I dreamed of sharing, only hear the echo from movements, the dream kids I’d wish to have would be screaming through crowded airports, the dream job I wished to hold would be pushed aside due to her being given the roles of both a mother and a father, and the dream husband that I wished would always be there to protect me be my knight and shining armour…well he’s away, playing the dream sport.

Metro Transit bus #979, taken by Chris Grady in 2005

Don’t you just hate when you get on the bus and there are those ANNOYING people who think they are in their own car, or are the only person on the bus? Just like there are things you don’t do at a table or on a plane, there are things you just don’t do on a bus! Therefore, I have made this simple guide for those who do not understand proper bus etiquette.

(These are in no particular order)

15. The bus is not a playground, so don’t let your kids act like it is one – Don’t you just hate those parents who let their kids run around like they’re in their own home or on the school’s playground? Why? It’s a MOVING vehicle!!! Come on now, somebody is going to get hurt!

14. Don’t yell ‘INDOOR VOICES’ at your kids (especially when they aren’t even being that loud) – Set an example for your child. By yelling indoor voices, you totally defeat the purpose of them using their indoor voices. If mommy can yell, so can we!

13. Don’t pay with 100 coins – Now I understand if you have a bunch of coins, I’m a student, I totally understand. But come on… Jamming up the coin taker? Pleaseee. Put them in a few at a time if you have 100 coins!

12. Don’t stare at others – This one goes for ALL the time, not just on the bus. But seriously, it is so uncomfortable when you are sitting on the bus and you can feel the person across the isle just staring you down. So you look over at them and then they look away…. two seconds later they’re at it again!!

11. You can listen to your music, but the rest of us DO NOT want to hear it – It’s been a long day at school or work, you have a headache and you’re getting on the bus to go home. You sit down and at the next stop this guy (or girl) gets on the bus and sits behind you, 3 seats back. S/he has headphones on, but might as well have speakers, because everyone on the bus can hear the words perfectly!! I don’t mind if people listen to music, I do it myself sometimes, but I don’t want to listen to YOUR music!

10. Don’t sing aloud to your music – There is a time and a place for everything. You may think a bus is a great place to display your musical talents (or lack there of) but it’s not. Just that plain and simple, if we wanted to hear you sing, we would ask you.

9. Move to the back of the bus – When the bus is getting full and you are standing up, don’t stay at the front of the bus, move to the back! The people in the back don’t bite! I was on the bus the other day (luckily I had snagged a seat) but I noticed these people who were standing right before the step up to the back of the bus and they just wouldn’t go to the VERY back. More people were getting on and it was getting extremely squished near the front. The back of the bus had all that space! Just be courteous and move back! It’s not that difficult.

8. Give up your seat for the elderly – Shouldn’t this one be obvious? Yeah, you may be tired, but when an older lady or man get on the bus everyone should start to get up to give him/her a seat. It’s just not right to have an elderly person standing. I was on a bus one day (standing) and this older man got on the bus and NO ONE got up to give him a seat at first. I was mortified. There were all these people in their 20’s sitting and no one offered him a seat.

7. Talk to your friends not at them – I don’t want to hear your conversation about the crazy party you went to last night or the hotttttt dudee you almost had and I don’t think anyone else does either, so don’t talk to your friend who is on the opposite end of the bus. Enough said.

6. Wear deodorant please – Deodorant or soap, it’s not too expensive. If you can afford to ride the bus, you can afford to cleanse. I was on the bust one day and this guy about my age got on. He was standing near the back door, and I was sitting near it. He lifted his arm to hold onto the bar and I almost puked. I think the person next to me was feeling a bit queasy too! I hope he didn’t think that raunchy smell was me!

5. When you cough, cover your mouth – We learn this in primary! Don’t spread germs, we’re already too close to each other. If you have to cough just be polite and cover your mouth!

4. If the bus is full, don’t take up two seats – It’s just that simple! Put your bag on your lap or on the floor. Not so hard to do.

3. Talking on cell phones – I could go on for a while about this one. It’s okay to talk on your cell, we all do it. But no one wants to hear your conversation about the guy you slept with last night or how you just found out you can fit your entire fist (including most of your wrist) in your mouth.

2. If there are a lot of empty seats, don’t sit by a random person - There are empty seats everywhere but you get on the bus and just have to sit by me! Why????

1. If I’m listening to music, I don’t want to talk to you – I have my earphones in for a reason. A) I want to listen to my music. B) I am tired and had a long day. C) To avoid weird people who like to make small talk with me on the bus.

If you follow these rules I think everyone would enjoy their bus ride just a little bit more! I know I would. As students we’re often forced to take the bus because no one can afford to buy their own car let alone pay for the gas to make it drive! If we just all follow these simple 15 rules then everyone will be happier!

Don’t play innocent, we’ve all been there.  You met up with that cute guy or gal who you’ve been eyeing in class for a quick bite and everything’s going great.  The conversation is flowing and there’s smiles all around until that awkward lull when he or she pulls out their cellphone to read or answer a text message.  At this point you’re red in the face, fumbling to finish your sentence hoping that they’re still listening to you. Then you ask yourself things like, “Who are they texting?”, “Am I boring him/her?” and of course “Is he/she into me?”

Text messaging is a huge cultural phenomenon among teenagers and young adults, in which peers can keep in constant communication, anywhere at any time with the touch of a few buttons. It’s cheap. It’s convenient. It’s perfect.

With these points in mind, texting seems to be a great and inexpensive way to keep in touch with your pals. What you might not have considered though is the strain it can put on your personal relationships with others.

Texting allows couples and dates to keep in touch by connecting, flirting and of course “sexting”, many young adults seeing it as a necessary form of additional communcation aside from e-mails and phone calls.  It also provides singles the opportunity to feel out a potential match and can provide a quick getaway during a bad or awkward date (“My sister’s car broke down/is in the hospital/is in prison/etc.” Anything to get you out of there!).

As amazing as text messaging is, there are potential issues when texting and dating are combined. In an era where electronic forms of communication like e-mail, text and instant messaging are considered the norm, everyone is expected to be in constant contact with one another. It is because of this, a person’s texting habits can be translated into their persona and feelings, whether they’re glued to their QWERTY board or whether T9 is uncharted territory to them.

On the negative side of things, texting can be toxic for relationships and when pursuing potential romantic partners. Many second dates have been ruled out with the constant use of text messaging with friends or ex-partners during dates. For many, texting on a date is annoying and unnattractive. If you’re texting at a restaurant, your date will get the vibe you’re not interested in them and would rather communicate electronically with someone else than talking to you. A problem I have often encounted is the ambiguity of messages. What one perceives as sarcasm, another might take literally.

Now, you don’t have to chuck your cellphone into the garbage to assure a healthy romantic relationship. Simple little things can help, like, I don’t know, dialing their phone number? Just because texting is a norm doesn’t mean that you have to absolve all other more personal forms of communication. And besides, it makes people feel special, and you want to feel special, don’t you?

So perhaps you don’t love your partner anymore, or maybe you have different goals in life, or who knows, it could be that you have just stopped getting along. Regardless of the reason, you have come to the conclusion that it’s time to end the relationship.

However, before this moment, you believed the hardest place to be was the dumpee, but now that the tables have turned, you realized you were wrong.

So very wrong.

Breaking up with someone has been proven to be one of the hardest things to do as someone is bound to get hurt. And surprisingly, even though it was your idea, it will end up hurting you more than you expect.

For this reason, I have outlined some ideas to help you Break up and not Break down.

Make sure you want to break-up. You really have to think about this. Ensure this is not a temporary feeling and that it is something, without hesitation that you want. I say this because, once you lose them, more than likely they will be gone forever.

Do it in Person. With the rise of technology, it may seem simpler to break up through text message, msn or via Twitter or Facebook; however, this is one of the worse things you can do. I know this is tempting because it’s much easier for you, but it would also be a type of betrayal. I know it’s hard, but you owe your partner the ability to look him/her in the eye when you break up with them.

Be mature and honest: A relationship is based on trust and dependability – don’t prove you’re unworthy in your last moments together. Sit down with them and explain everything you are feeling and why you think this is the best scenario for the both of you. You also get brownie points if you get a response of “I understand” or “I agree.”

Take Responsibility. Don’t blame him/her. It is already unbearable for the dumpee, don’t make it worse. Take the responsibility for what is taking place and hope that they can relate with your feelings. It’s also important to let them determine when the conversation is over.

Be understanding. It is incredibly important to listen to their feelings and reactions. Do not interrupt or contradict what they have to say. They will listen to what you have to say, so give them the same respect.

Give them space. At first they are going to be angry. Very angry. This is expected. Don’t try to tell them that they are wrong for feeling like they do. In time, they will get over it, and when they do, you will both feel much better.

Avoid dating anyone for a long time. So, I know this is super hard and may not happen, but if you want to have a good chance in staying friends, this step is necessary. If you don’t they may just think you merely broke up with them to be with someone else. If you absolutely must be with someone else (early after the break-up) do yourself and your ex a favour and try to  keep your ex from finding out.

Avoid going where your ex might be. Running into the ex when you or him/her are not ready will be incredibly awkward. Not only that, but it will set back the healing process… almost like ripping off a band-aid when a cut isn’t completely healed.

Stick to your decision: Yes, I left this for the end, but it is so true. Do not delay the break-up further. I know you are hoping that things will get better in the future, but this is rarely the case. Plus putting it off to avoid causing pain will not make things any better. In fact, the longer you take to break up, the harder it will become.

Overall, just keep in mind that there is no painless way of breaking up with someone. No magical words, or powerful things can take the pain away. All that can be done is following these steps and avoiding some common mistakes. This way it will make the pain less for them… and more importantly, for you as well.

With Wizards of Waverly Place distracting my 5-year old I’m gonna take these minutes to start my first blog. I guess this is a place I’m hoping to make some connections with other parents who are returning to university or for anyone who’s thinking about doing it.

But where to start? After having it all …my own house (yes, one full bedroom turned into a closet), a creative career in radio, two dogs and a cat, a great circle of friends, custom-made roller skates and a lot of nice pants. Life was good.

Then I got pregnant.

Yup. I made a baby. I became a mom. An amazing mom. However, by the time she turned three our family was no more. I had sold my house to start a life with her dad so I had no where to live and the work I was getting post mat-leave was not not supporting my daughter and I.

So here I am …in my thirties, a single mom who had to move back to her home town to get the support needed to return to school. Not only that, I had to move back in with my parents. Not so hawt for the social scene…

…well, Molly has advised me I’m allowed to type in one more thing. Mama Mel back on duty.

xoxoxox for all the moms and dads trying to get it done for the ones they love while tending to them too

If there was a class on procrastination – I would get an A+. Currently, through my five years of university thus far, I have learned how to write an essay, how to study, but most of all, amazing ways to procrastinate!

Procrastination is often thought of as being a bad thing; however, in reality, this is not the case. If you procrastinate the right way, it can help you get your schoolwork done and improve the quality of your life.

It’s not like you need any help, but just in case you’re struggling, I have decided to share some of the best ways to procrastinate.

1. Twitter: There is nothing better than reading about pointless things that celebrities have done. If you’re really into procrastinating add me and watch me be a twit! @Alleycat17

2. Check Facebook for updates (Warning: This can become very addictive).

3.Colour-code your agenda. This will make you organized! And what’s more fun than checking what needs to be done and seeing English homework in red and Stats in blue!

4. Work out how many ways you can convince yourself that you’ll eventually do that essay. This doesn’t necessarily mean doing it, but you can always try!

5. Pick new colours or themes for your desktop… the more creative – the better!

6.Check your emails! Who knows, there might be something really interesting in there (other than just how to increase the size of your….).

7. Spend half a day working on an Excel spreadsheet using amazing functions to produce a list of things to do you could have typed in 10 minutes!

8. Make a list about how to stop procrastinating (Who knows… when I procrastinate next… I may write my next blog).

9. Write a blog – Spend time writing some blogs! This of even joining the campusintel.com team!

10. Do homework due far in the future: Yeah, so perhaps this will never happen, but if it does, think about how good you will feel!

11. Assist Others – Why not help others if you can’t be productive for yourself! Volunteer or help a classmate with an assignment!

12. Hang out with your friends. This does not mean chatting with your Facebook friends; instead, get out of the house and leave the technology behind!

13. Go to Starbucks or another coffee shop: There might even be a cute person there that will make you take a ‘double-double take’

14. Watch a movie or show online. It’s cheap and will definitely get your mind off some of that complicated terms that are spinning around in your head.

15. Do some exercise: Go for a jog or a swim, or even some yoga. Physical activity will relieve stress, and it is beneficial to your health.

16. Clean. You’ll be surprised how many people sweep the floors or clean their dorm rooms to avoid doing the term paper. This is a great way to procrastinate as it’s definitely more productive and of course, there’s nothing like that great feeling of seeing that floor again!

17. Read a Blog: April’s Blogs are always a good choice – and heck you’ve already done it! Great job! You’re learning!

Dually noted, however, it is important to not procrastinate at the wrong time. The time to procrastinate is not the morning of an exam or the evening when you should be writing an essay.

However, if it’s not during those times, remember the importance of procrastination — If you are not wasting precious time, you are not doing it properly!

Enjoy Procrastinating!

P.s. What do you do to procrastinate?

I’ve never really been one to watch the Olympic games in all honestly, I found them boring as a child, I’d much rather have seen what Bugs Bunny was up to or tuned into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…you know, things with real passion eh? However, this year I actually sat down and watched the opening ceremonies, and from that moment on I was stuck on the Olympics.

            I don’t know how many other people across Canada alone got the ‘Olympic fever’ but this year for some reason I got it bad. Every morning as I got ready for work I would turn on the TV to the same channel and the journalists would wake up with me. Every evening I’d come home from work or class and I’d tune in to see what events had taken place and what was going on that night. I’d receive texts from my Mom periodically each day updating me on our metal count and what races we’d won in. It was just something outside of my own little world of crazy school and work life that I could sit down, relax and be excited for…and it didn’t hurt that I could actually do school work while watching it (I mean really, I was mostly interested in the Canadian athletes, or on occasion those athletes they did those little pre-game life stories on), so during other athletes’ runs I’d read my textbook…you know how student life is.

            I started looking forward every day to events I would watch in the evening and have people come over to watch anything really, curling, skating, and of course hockey! It didn’t really matter what we watched, we just loved seeing our athletes compete and really took pride in the metals won as though they were our own (I love living vicariously though athletes…makes me feel like I never have to go to the gym).

            The day I found out that the Olympics were ending however a wave of sadness washed over me briefly, I thought to myself, who will wake up with me in the morning? How will I deal with the lack of texts from my Mom? How will I decide what to watch on those nights when there’s no good shows on TV? But I made it though, and although the closing ceremonies were emotional for me, I held to one thing…we kicked butt in both women’s and men’s hockey!

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has gone though this, and maybe if you’re reading this you haven’t experienced such a wave of irony and dissatisfaction, but chances are you will feel it after reading this post so…umm…sorry?

            I have recently found myself having feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment towards the way the world works…now let me narrow that down a bit since I’m sure there’s many ways the world “doesn’t work”. What I mean is the whole goal of life society has for us. When we’re young we’re put in school until we’re 18 or so, this preps us for the ‘real world’ but what we’re really getting ready for is deciding on our career, in order to accomplish most of these career aspirations we need to go to more school (university, college, etc.) once we’re done that we make our way into the working world, trying our hardest to make all of that education we received work for us and using it to gain experience and entrance into the jobs we think we want. Once we get there we work our whole life to save money so we can retire and enjoy the last few decades before we die. Do you see my problem?

            We work our whole life towards a career that we’re often times doing just so we can make money to retire to enjoy life…so why does our society have things set up so that the only life we’re given is used to work 8 hours/day 5 days/week for the majority of our life so that we can only enjoy the last bit of it when we’re old and tired and possibly not capable of doing anything we want to do anymore?? Why are we spending the best years of our life working so hard towards something that’s just the means to an end??

            Hopefully you will excuse my ramblings here, but these realizations are really quite frustrating. This is the reason why I want to be happy in my career, because I’m going to be doing it for the majority of my life and if you get to the point where it’s not fun you’re going to be miserable for so much of it until you retire! Unfortunately, so many people are not happy with their career. In my opinion, people aren’t happy because so often they’re rushed into a career they may not like because at age 18 they have to make decisions as to what they want to do the rest of their life so they can study and prepare for it (as now it takes at least a masters to get most jobs) or they’re rushed into it because they need the money to pay for the basic necessities of living!

            So, where is this all coming from? Well, as I said before, this is the reason I want to enjoy my career, the problem here is the job I think I want requires me to be in school at least until I’m 30 (why so late you may ask? First, because I need to get a PhD for the job I want and second because I changed degrees 3 times as out of high school I had no idea what the real world was like and so no idea what I wanted to do in it). Once getting out of school it’s another thing, trying to gain experience so that I can actually work in the setting I want to and making my way up the career latter to get to the top so I can make the big bucks and retire ‘happy’…right? Well, it doesn’t end there, my other frustrations lie in the fact that the 7 + years of schooling I still need to do is taken up by things like research and studying of a vast array of topics so that I can find my niche. While I understand why this may be important to some, the fact that it’s standardized this way leaves the people who already know what area they wish to specialize in frustrated as they have to complete a large assortment of classes they don’t need in the end for the career they want which also may bring down their overall marks making it harder for them to get into the school they wish to go to. And of course most of the jobs won’t end up taking into account how much you know about any one particular subject, but instead just look at the initials at the end of your name and the letters on your transcript; because to the world, it’s not important what you think you can do or how passionate and good you are at it just as long as you have the degree.

In a way university has a tendency to kill people’s passion for the work they want to do because it’s too generalized. This is why I often regret not going to a community college as they at least specialize in certain careers and help you get on your way in only a few years. The problem with this is the career I want isn’t really part of the community college curriculum, and even if it was unfortunately people don’t seem to value a two year degree (which indecently focuses more on your degree and gives you hands on experience) over a Masters or PhD (which generalizes and worries far too much about research and book learning).

In the case of clinical psychology (my end goal) I understand the need for a large amount of knowledge on various things however there’s more to it than getting the right letter grades and universities don’t seem to take much other than that into account. All this pressure and frustration is enough sometimes to make me want to give up and forget about the PhD and just do some job that doesn’t require me to be in school for the majority of my life so that I can just start paying off my student debt, but I keep thinking if I end up doing a career that’s less satisfactory to me in the end I’ll just end up depressed and needing to seek counselling.

            Isn’t that ironic?